Just a Lost Soul Swimmin' in a Fish Bowl

Obligatory Pre-Wedding, Post-Planning Advice June 13, 2012

In 7 days, I will be driving to Wisconsin to pick up my marriage license and invade my parent’s house in Milwaukee.

In 9 days, I will be standing in front of The Actual holding a bouquet of ribbons practicing what will be the first day of our lives together as joint-filing tax citizens. (And eating pizza… lots of pizza!)

In 10 days, I will be walking down a grassy aisle after taking a shot of whiskey with my dad toward the greatest man I could ever have ever had the blessing to love me. (And eating pulled pork… all the pulled pork!)

In 11 days, I will be on a plane to Colorado to enjoy my new husband in some of the most beautiful landscape in the country.

Being a self-proclaimed veteran of wedding planning – I have been planning this shin-dig for a year and a half now, you know – I would like to pass along some of the advice I have been given that has helped me survive this whole process.  You can take it or leave it – but I promise you these tid-bits have helped me immensely by stopping me from committing homicide, suicide, or any other –icide that would land me in prison or a grave.

1)      The wedding day is just that – a day. One meal, 24 hours, and a singular pair of underwear dirtied. Marriage is a lifetime of these. Keep perspective.

2)      The ceremony is all about the couple. Be as picky and selfish as you want in planning it. The reception, though? Has absolutely nothing to do with you two. It is the biggest party you can throw for all your closest family and friends – remember that.

3)      What are your two to three most important goals of the day? If everything else goes wrong and these things go right, your day was successful.

4)      How do you want your wedding party to remember you in the days leading up to and during the big day? Keep this in mind when you start freaking out about your timeline.

5)      The only thing you should NOT skimp on when budgeting is your photographer. It is the ONLY part of your wedding that truly lasts forever.

To be completely honest, if I had a second chance to plan this wedding all over again, my first reaction would be to haul ass to Las Vegas and get hitched on the pirate ship in front of Treasure Island.

But in reality? It doesn’t matter where, how, or when I sign that piece of paper. It actually doesn’t matter to me if I sign that piece of paper at all. The only thing I care about is having The Actual by my side until the day we are old, senile, and arguing over what breakfast cereal to buy at the grocery store.

The dress, the cake, and the pulled pork sandwiches are all just incredibly awesome frills for an incredibly lucky day.