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A Glass Case of Emotion April 5, 2013

Posted by jeneypeney in i'm just sayin', piss and moan, sentimental stuff.
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I’m a real sap, people. A pathetic, hopeless, emotional bundle of sappy, schmoopy feelings that unleash themselves in a torrent of tears, curse words, and mopey-face at the drop of a hat.

Usually the direct cause of this disorder is the arbitrary, fictional characters of television and film who insist on pulling at my heart string with all their funny quirks and heartbreaking shortcomings. Just to give you an idea of what I am talking about?

When I was a kid, my parents took me to see The Little Mermaid when it came out in theaters. I cried for HOURS when Ariel left King Triton to be with Eric. Her tearful and heartfelt goodbye to her daddy at her wedding was too much for my four year old heart to bear.

To this day, no matter how many times I watch it, I will promptly begin to bawl my eyes out in Armageddon when Bruce Willis’ character pushes Ben Affleck in to the elevator to take his place on that stupid space rock. “Harry I love you!” … gets me every. damn. time.

But there are plenty of other things that turn my tear-ducts in to overdrive.

This weekend I cried my eyes out at a freaking rock concert because the band decided to end their set with this song while showing Amanda Todd’s story on the big screen. One ginormous, sobbing mess I tell ya.

The Actual has actually learned which sniffing noise I make is indicative of a breakdown and preemptively holds me while I sob over THE STUPIDEST SHIT ANYONE COULD EVER CRY ABOUT!

So last night, while watching my go-to favorite show Grey’s Anatomy, I found myself fighting back tears right at the start of the show. Why?

No, not because Meredith and Derrick were making some pretty huge life decisions regarding their children in the wake of their genome tests.

Nope, not because of the pending doom that seems to be awaiting Dr. Bailey and the sudden spread of a life-threatening infection in her surgical patients.

Not even because Kepner’s cute EMT boyfriend is kind of being a poop about her coming clean regarding her virginity.

I was crying because the episode featured two Syrian surgeons who were flown to the states to learn how to perform procedures on those adults and children wounded in the war with nothing more than cotton balls, a match stick, and a flashlight.

Now… I understand the show is a work of fiction. I completely comprehend it is a part of a genre called “drama”. And I know the circumstances those two surgeons were explaining are not truly accurate depictions of what is truly happening in Syria. But that doesn’t negate the fact that there is a war raging as I write this… and that people are dying because of it.

Toward the end of the episode I sat up, looked at The Actual, and said, “I wish I didn’t care so much about things I have no control over.”

Recently my state won Mother Jones’ Anti-Choice March Madness bracket and for good reason. My brother’s right to marry the man he loves is currently being decided by our nation’s highest court. And recently I witnessed some of the most blatant racism I have ever seen fly right under the radar on my own campus.

Quite some time ago I wrote about being emotionally drained due to issues very similar to those in this post. I do sincerely wish sometimes that I was ignorant of these matters. I also find myself insanely jealous of The Actual’s ability to keep so calm and collected in the face of them.*

I wish I didn’t care about things I have no control over. I wish I had control over these things. I wish the people who do have control would just be reasonable.

I wish this world wasn’t so damn ugly. I’m too stupid emotional to handle it… just ask Ariel and Shonda Rhimes.

* Side Story: When the abortion laws were signed in North Dakota, our Governor began to receive death threats. The Actual and I were talking about it when I mentioned I thought those people were going a bit too far. He replied by saying, “Well it wouldn’t be so hard to kill him now. Just find a way to get him pregnant.”

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