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The Gangnam Goat Shake? March 6, 2013

Posted by jeneypeney in bloggers do it best, i'm a moron, pop culture, what the hell.
1 comment so far

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As a member of Generation Y, I like to do my peers proud and stay up-to-date with the latest in pop-cultural and internet sensations.

I was a huge fan of LOLCats and Rick Rolling and I will always, always laugh like an idiot when I watch Honey Badger.

Leroy Jenkins, Duck Face, Condescending Wonka, McKayla in Not Impressed… I fully bought in to all of them. I read, watched, and subscribed to every page and video. I would reference them in my everyday conversations. I shared them on Facebook, added them to my Tumblr feed, and e-mailed them to my Dad because I knew my Mom just wouldn’t understand.

Then something happened… and it all started with a guy from South Korea riding an imaginary horse like someone from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

While I wasn’t the biggest fan of Gangnam Style, I understood how the absurdity of the whole video and slightly catchy tune of the song would attract the attention and admiration of a population of individuals who gave life to shows like Teen Mom and Jersey Shore.

But soon after, The Harlem Shake happened.

And folks…. I just don’t get it.

I mean, humping the air and flailing your arms around does not a Harlem Shake make. I’m not even sure how this became a thing? It is supposed to be funny? Is there some kind of joke I am missing out on? Am I just getting old? Why don’t I understand?!?!

(Don’t even get me started on Screaming Goats. That shit’s just annoying.)

So if someone could please – for the love of all that is holy – explain these things to me?

I’ll be here waiting on the porch telling all the kids to get off my lawn…

Repo! The Genetic Opera November 22, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in bad-ass-ness, imho, movies, music, pop culture, reviews.
3 comments

For those of you thinking this title has anything to do with that piece of crap movie with Jude Law and Forest Whitaker – you are sadly mistaken.

Last week I was surfing around a friend’s Netflix account trying to find something interesting to pass the time when I stumbled across a title that I had been meaning to watch ever since I saw the trailer for it on a Saw DVD – Repo! The Genetic Opera.

While I knew this film was going to be anything but ordinary – I had no idea the kind of onslaught of visual and auditory carnage I was about to experience.

The lovechild of Sweeney Todd, Hostel, and the Beverly Hills scene of Escape from L.A., this movie is quite possibly one of the most disturbing and haunting things I have ever watched; and I cannot get enough of it. Even Paris Hilton’s character blew me away. Amber Sweet – a spoiled, slutty, heiress with a drug addition. Wait… she didn’t have to act at all did she?

Taking place in the year 2056, the population of the world was ravaged by an epidemic of failing organs. Like a beacon of light, the company GeneCo emerged with the ability to provide organs to those in need of them – organs that are financed. And just like your car and your home, these organs can be repossessed if you fall behind on payments.

With this technology, the trend of “making your x-ray sexier” became all the rage. People were having surgeries to replace their hearts, kidneys, corneas, and everything else in between on a daily and weekly basis. Of course, with this kind of treatment to your body came terrible pain and agony. But wait! GeneCo rises again and creates a very expensive and highly addictive pain-killer, Zydrate. For those scalpel sluts that can’t afford the real stuff, a cheap knock off that is harvested from the brains of the dead is sold on the street (sounds tempting, doesn’t it?).

The plot centers around a young girl who is quarantined in her bedroom by her overprotective father. She has been told that she has a blood disease she inherited from her dead mother. Her father, who happens to be GeneCo’s #1 Repoman, has a haunted past and deathly connection with the founder of GeneCo, Rotti Largo.

If the blood and gore of legal assassinations and organ repossession or comic relief from a murderer and a rapist don’t keep you interested, the twists, turns, and intertwined destinies of the characters will. An absolutely riveting storyline told through comic-book style story boards and the narration of a strangely endearing and charismatic Graverobber lies in the background of a catchy, dark, and absolutely splendid soundtrack.

An honest to God bloody, can’t-tear-your-eyes-away (but GeneCo will if you default on them) sort of film, Repo! will not disappoint any fan of the manic and horrific.

Photoshop my ass! (…please?) July 5, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in all growed up, femme writes, girl problems, life, piss and moan, pop culture, the 'f' word.
10 comments

On the 5th of every month, bloggers from around the world are open to write about rights and issues concerning women. First started by Shine and Marie, we’re hoping to bring a variety of women’s issues to the forefront to make people aware of what’s going on. For the month of July, we’ve chosen to write about Body Image. Please join us in telling us your stories, thoughts, and ideas on a monthly basis. To read previous installments, click here.

***

I am not going to lie, I have struggled with my own body image for as long as I can remember. But at the same time, I’ve been absolutely fascinated with the theory of it. I even spent the majority of my junior and senior year of college researching  the effects of alcohol and liquor advertising on women’s self-body image for my undergraduate thesis.*

I took a class called Theory of Female Beauty my senior year where we had one assignment in which we all had to select a picture of ourselves and manipulate it to make ourselves “ideal” and “ugly”.

This is the photo I started with:

Not too shabby, if I say so myself…

This is what happened when I gave myself more make-up, bigger boobs, more blonde hair, and smoother skin:

I didn’t even think the original picture was bad until I did this assignment…

And for a good laugh, this is what I did to make myself “ugly”:

What Shrek looks like on acid.

Pretty ridiculous, huh?

To be completely frank, there is absolutely no reason for me to have issues with how my body looks. I am 5’2″, about  130 lbs, with 35, 31, 39 measurements. But when I look in the mirror every morning? I see a less than perfect woman staring back at me who could use a chin reduction and a couple hundred more sit-ups at the gym.

And the most frustrating and infuriating part about this? I hold a minor in Women’s Studies from a prestigious all women’s college. I know this “perfect figure” we are all chasing after is as realistic as sparkly vampires and horcruxes.  I know all those magazine covers are photoshopped to high hell and back. I know this.

Ladies and gentlemen, we all know this.

I really wish I had some sort of earth-shattering and mind-blowing way to end to this post – but there is nothing I can say that has not been said before…

Just take a close look at the images I posted – and remember them the next time you see Charlize Theron or Matthew McConaughey looking all sexy and perfect on a magazine cover. It didn’t take millions of hours at the gym and a diet of Fiji water and carrots to look like that – it took a couple clicks and a few brush strokes.

*If anyone wants to read all the mumbo-jumbo I wrote, presented, and defended – shoot me and e-mail and I can send it to you.