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The Gangnam Goat Shake? March 6, 2013

Posted by jeneypeney in bloggers do it best, i'm a moron, pop culture, what the hell.
1 comment so far

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As a member of Generation Y, I like to do my peers proud and stay up-to-date with the latest in pop-cultural and internet sensations.

I was a huge fan of LOLCats and Rick Rolling and I will always, always laugh like an idiot when I watch Honey Badger.

Leroy Jenkins, Duck Face, Condescending Wonka, McKayla in Not Impressed… I fully bought in to all of them. I read, watched, and subscribed to every page and video. I would reference them in my everyday conversations. I shared them on Facebook, added them to my Tumblr feed, and e-mailed them to my Dad because I knew my Mom just wouldn’t understand.

Then something happened… and it all started with a guy from South Korea riding an imaginary horse like someone from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

While I wasn’t the biggest fan of Gangnam Style, I understood how the absurdity of the whole video and slightly catchy tune of the song would attract the attention and admiration of a population of individuals who gave life to shows like Teen Mom and Jersey Shore.

But soon after, The Harlem Shake happened.

And folks…. I just don’t get it.

I mean, humping the air and flailing your arms around does not a Harlem Shake make. I’m not even sure how this became a thing? It is supposed to be funny? Is there some kind of joke I am missing out on? Am I just getting old? Why don’t I understand?!?!

(Don’t even get me started on Screaming Goats. That shit’s just annoying.)

So if someone could please – for the love of all that is holy – explain these things to me?

I’ll be here waiting on the porch telling all the kids to get off my lawn…

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The One About Crazy Moms and Lost Messages April 20, 2012

Posted by jeneypeney in a little help from my friends, all growed up, life, the famn damily, what the hell.
2 comments

Before I start – and just in case anyone was curious – I would like to make something very clear…

There will be absolutely no zygotes, fetuses, babies, or any other form of tiny human being incubated and grown in my  lady parts any time in the next few years.

It’s not that I don’t want kids someday; I do. I have simply decided to head off the, “So when are are starting a family?” conversations that I am sure to encounter beginning June 24th.

Or, more importantly, if you happen to be my baby-crazy-I-want-grandchildren-like-yesterday mother – I am putting the kibosh on any more of your “Honeymoon Surprise!” wishes.

I seem to have those, “I want grandchildren!”/”Get off my back!” conversations with my mom far too often. Yesterday I had a particular doozie in which I kind of went all Gretchen Wieners on my mom’s ass and this is how it went:

***

Baby-Crazy-Mom: “I was telling your dad yesterday I hope you and Brian have an oopsie during the honeymoon…”

Empty-Uterus: “Not going to happen. We cannot afford to have a baby right now.”

BCM: “Well, whatever your insurance doesn’t cover I am sure The Actual’s will.”

EU: “That doesn’t mean we can afford the crib, changing table, diapers, food, toys, clothes and all that nonsense. I would probably have to take a leave of absence for an extended period of time considering all the heavy lifting I and all the chemicals I am exposed to – the stress of living on one income wouldn’t help anything”

BCM: “But your father and I just saw a four-in-one crib at Sears!”

EU: “Well, that’s nice – do they make four-in-one diapers too?! How about food that digests in to more edible food after the kid shits it out? Have you seen any self-washing onesies lately? I SAID NO BABIES!”

*

I just can’t seem to get this through her head. Despite the blatant privilege I have been afforded of actually having health insurance, a decent paying job, and the ability to afford the birth control my insurance does not cover through a Planned Parenthood that is only a 10 minute drive away, The Actual and I are not ready to procreate.

Hell – I’m lucky if I remember to pants on before I leave the house or can feed myself proper meals seven nights a week.

I guess besides needing to get this frustration off my chest, I was wondering how I get my mom to understand where I am coming from? How do I get her to understand this is less about her getting grand babies to spoil and more about us being handed a huge platter of responsibility we are not ready for?

Misplaced Priorities March 9, 2011

Posted by jeneypeney in femme writes, i'm just sayin', the 'f' word, what the hell.
2 comments

I know it may seem like I am beating a dead horse when I bring up how much the University of Notre Dame has completely an utterly disappointed me in the worst way possible. But I cannot be silent about this…

Not once, but twice the University has failed to protect and bring justice to my Saint Mary’s sisters.

Not once, but twice they pushed their sexual assault cases to the side and brushed their sloppy investigations under the rug as if this all was an episode of the Chicago Code.

Not once, but twice the University that had become such an integral part of my life broke my heart.

Yesterday I came across an article about the football program installing remote video cameras in the football practice complex as a result of the death of Declan Sullivan. The article goes on to say that the family is very pleased that these steps are being taken to avoid another tragic accident like the one that killed their son.

News coverage of Declan’s death have continued to report that the University is “researching what caused the lift to fall” and “how this can be avoided in the future.” I guess the fact that winds gushed at over 50mph and the lift wasn’t supposed to be used if winds exceeded 35mph isn’t enough evidence for them. The University has been in contact with Sullivan’s family to assure that Declan is memorialized and remembered.

I do not want to belittle Declan’s death at all. I was once a member of the Notre Dame Football family, and his death hit me hard. He was far too young and had too promising a future to have his life taken away so suddenly and I doubt I will be forgetting this tragedy any time soon.

However, being a woman, a feminist, a survivor a sexual assault, and an alum of Saint Mary’s College – I cannot help but be outraged at the disparities between the actions the University has taken to handle the deaths of Declan Sullivan and Lizzy Seeburg as well as the second assault allegation revealed to have been poorly handled by Notre Dame.

The University has done everything in their power to investigate Declan’s death; rightly so. But their investigations of the two sexual assaults were minimal – and that’s a generous statement.

The administration has been in constant contact with the Sullivan family while the Seeburgs have all but got down on their knees and begged for Rev. Jenkins to return their phone calls.

Now, they are spending thousands of dollars on fiber-optic remote cameras to be installed on the practice fields to avoid another death like Declan’s. What are they doing to help avoid more sexual assaults of the women of both Saint Mary’s and Notre Dame? Nothing but trying to cover their asses for ignoring them in the first place.

While I do  understand that these three cases are all very different for the simple fact that Declan’s life literally ended, I simply do NOT understand why the sexual assault cases were handled with a completely disregard for decency, justice, and tact?

Is it because these girls were “SMC Chiks” and not “Domers”? Is it because the girls were drunk and “asked for it”? Is it because the administration is so blinded by their Catholic values and the need to keep their precious campus to absurdly guarded from the outside world? Is it because they think there is absolutely, positively no way in hell that the upstanding, intelligent, impressive men of Notre Dame could ever commit such a crime?

Whatever the reason is, I am disgusted by you, Notre Dame. I have no idea how you can live with yourselves and claim you are “good Christians” when you ignore the cries of your daughters and their families. The lives of those two girls have forever been changed by this and you’re  indifference to their pleas of help will not make their road to recovery any easier.

You should be ashamed of your ignorance and disregard for the lives of the women on your campus and the one across the street – I know I am.