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An Ode to I29 Construction August 6, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in being appropriate is overrated, empty threats, letters, piss and moan, save yo drama fo yo mama, the midwest, workin girl.
3 comments

Dear North Dakota DOT,

I understand, what with the absurdly cold winters here in Fargo, ND, that you must repair our streets and highways during the two weeks of summer we actually have decent weather. I appreciate this – really, I do. So does my car.

What I do not appreciate is the fact that my entire 6 mile trip to work on the usual three lanes of I29 has been reduced to two lanes with yielding merges and a speed limit of 35 miles per hour.

Now, if you were in fact working on at least 60% of this valuable blocked lane, I would be a bit more sympathetic and forgiving of your blatant disregard for my commute and short temper. HOWEVER! Throughout this entire 6 miles you have blocked, you only have your orange vest wearing workers actually doing work in a 10 yard section right off of US10’s exit. And they’ve been drilling in the same god damn spot ALL WEEK!

In other words they’ve made NO PROGRESS in the 0.0009% of the highway they are working on. And my commute is still twice as long and I still have to count to ten before I get out of my car at work.

I don’t know what fuckstick you have working in your planning division, but they seriously need to be whacked with a baseball bat. I’m sure you have someone sitting around that could do it while they’re NOT working on I29.

So seriously, please open that third lane back up and convert the merging lanes back to normal. Drivers out here are seriously far too incompetent to know what a YIELD sign means or how to drive 35 mph without riding their brakes – it could be that they have no idea how to read the signs, but I digress.

If you can’t do so, then start tearing shit up on that side of the road so there’s a reason for those effing orange buckets and my newly developed ulcers.

Much obliged,

Jeney

I’m Just Sayin’ – Paying to Pody April 28, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in being appropriate is overrated, empty threats, i'm just sayin', piss and moan, traveling.
3 comments

For anyone that flies (not literally asshole… on a plane), you know that airlines have been taking us to the cleaners with all the hidden fees and charges that we have to pay to sit our happy little asses in their cramped coach seats.

Checked bag fees, overweight bag fees, change of seat fees, airline ‘food’ fees, you’re-too-fat fees, booking fees, little-kid-by-themselves fees, flight change fees, pet fees…

Suck on fees nutz!!

I’m sorry. That was immature. And lame.

…sorry.

But geez! I wouldn’t be surprised if they started charging us to take a piss on the plane!

Wait… what is that you say? They already are?

Well, shit on me!*

This has got to be some kind of violation of a civil liberty or a health insurance scam or something.

And the logistics have got to be a nightmare! How do you regulate something like that? Is the door coin operated? What if you don’t have exact change? Do we all need to purchase pre-paid swipe cards which will no doubt have activation, usage, interest, and optional glittery design fees attached to them? Do we all have to answer three questions to cross the threshold of the insanely tiny lavatory?

In all honesty, this may not be a problem for most people who fly. But what about elderly people? Pregnant women? Those blessed with bladders the size of a dime? Or people who had their flight delayed because of your inept airline and had a few or eight martinis at the airport bar and broke the seal too early?

I’ll tell you what, my friends… I’d whip out the barf bag and drop trow in the middle of the plane or even piss over the ice in the little plastic cup my shot of soda came in before I stick any of my laundry quarters in a door to sit on your poor excuse for a toilet.

I’m just sayin’.

* You might actually have to if you don’t have any quarters…

Monday’s Laundry List March 29, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in all growed up, empty threats, FML, i wish i was still in college, life, workin girl.
4 comments

...literally.

For those of you who don’t know – I am an equipment manager for a D1 collegiate athletic program.

This means I care for all the gear and equipment for the sports I have been assigned.

This weekend, three of my teams had competitions.

That means today I have three teams worth of laundry to wash, dry, and return.

“Just how much laundry is that, Jeney?”

Well, let me tell you…

Sport One (13 athletes)

  • 2 sets of jerseys
  • 2 sets of bottoms
  • 3 different sets of warm-up tops
  • 1 set of warm-up suits
  • 1 set of t-shirts
  • 1 set of hooded sweatshirts
  • 1 set of winter jackets
  • 4 sets of socks
  • 2 sets of under armor
  • practice gear

Sport Two (21 athletes)

  • 2 sets of jerseys
  • 2 sets of bottoms
  • 1 set of fleece tops
  • 1 set of warm-up suits
  • 2 sets of socks
  • 2 sets of under armor

Sport Three (13 athletes)

  • 3 sets of jerseys
  • 2 sets of bottoms
  • 2 different sets of warm up tops
  • 1 set of warm-up suits
  • 4 sets of socks
  • 2 sets of knee pads
  • practice gear

This doesn’t include the towels and trainer’s gear I need to do, too.

Or the travel bags I need to pack away.

When I get married and have kids? They can do their own god damn laundry.