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What’s my “S”? December 8, 2015

Posted by jeneypeney in a little help from my friends, all growed up, in it to gym it, life, return to athleticism, tattoos-day, Uncategorized.
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I have this great idea for a new tattoo. I want to get the outlines of all the states I have lived in together as they are on a map across my thigh; Illinois, Wisconsin, Indiana, North Dakota, and Minnesota. I also want to put a star on the spot of each town I have called home; Park Forest, Oak Creek, South Bend, Fargo, and Hewitt.

In my mind, this tattoo is badass and would echo those big changes in my life that always seem to be marked by a move.

But in reality, it will show so much more.

It will show the fact I never really found a place to truly call my home. It will show the sad truth that I’ve moved so much that I failed to keep in touch with SO many friends. This tattoo will show the matter of how I’ve never really found my footing in my professional career; I’ve never found my true passion. It will show that I have simply felt lost and alone for well over a decade.

All of this instability and uncertainty came to an epic climax when my mother died and no more than 3 months later my husband and I moved to a town with a population smaller than my high school graduating class. I was truly on the edge of a very long, very destructive downward spiral.

Alas, in the infamous words of my late grandfather, “Things work out.” And work out, things did.

You see, my mother’s passing kick-started a sort of obsession – not so much with health – but with not kicking the bucket. The last thing I wanted was to pass away from a heart attack that I could have prevented before I even turned 55. So when a good friend of mine entered me into a contest for a month of free personal training, I took her up on it. That is when 3S Fitness came into my life and I couldn’t be more grateful.

The 3 “S”s of 3S Fitness are strength, sweat, and soul. There is also an unofficial, invisible “S” – support. But in reality, the “S” that this company provides for ME that is most important is STABILITY. And I’m not just talking the kind that you get from the million and a half minutes of planks my trainer has assigned to me since starting my training program.

I have incredible workouts that I can count on to make me sore everyday (never has peeing or washing my hair been such a challenge) – and a trainer that I know will be with me every step of the way.

After years of depriving myself of foods and obsessing over calories, I have finally developed a healthy and satisfying relationship with food.

I now have a job that I adore. I work from home. I have been granted the opportunity to help women – and men! –  grow with fitness and healthy relationships with food. I am ACTUALLY using both of my degrees. I couldn’t have asked for a more rewarding and fulfilling career.

I finally have an incredible group of friends that transcend distance and location. The 3SFitFam is an incredible group of women who will lift you up when you are failing, congratulate your accomplishments, and tell you it’s okay when you really just don’t feel like being a human that day.

So what’s your “S”? I suggest you begin with START. 



Your voice is strong, now right the wrong. November 7, 2013

Posted by jeneypeney in i'm just sayin', life, love harder, sports.
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A few months ago, I sat among a couple thousand people in a loud, dark arena taking in what was one of the best rock shows I had been to in a while. The music was phenomenal. The stage set was amazing. I was having the time of my life.

And I was crying.

We don’t have to take this, back against the wall.
We don’t have to take this. We can end it all.

“But Jeney – why on earth would you cry at a ROCK concert? Isn’t that an atmosphere full of screaming like a maniac, head-banging, and all-around shenanigans? Why on earth would this bring you to tears?”

I won’t lie. I was kind of embarrassed about crying at the show. I buried my head in The Actual’s chest and hid my face from my neighboring fans. But I couldn’t help it.

Because the band played one song for their encore. This song. And as the band was playing their final song, this video was projected on the screen behind the drum set. It was simply too much for me to handle.

It was too much.

All you’ll ever be is a fading memory of a bully.
Make another joke while they hang another rope. So lonely.

You see – these lyrics hit so close to home. They were sung by my youngest brother when he would come home bawling his eyes out because the kids at school were teasing him for not being able to read as well as they could.

They were sung by my other brother when he was shot in the face by a BB gun on the school bus because he wasn’t as social as the other kids.

They were sung by me when I was teased in front of everyone at a birthday party for having no idea what “being fingered” or “getting eaten out” meant.

They were sung by Amanda Todd, Rehtaeh Parsons, Jessica Laney, and countless others. Every time I hear a new story of someone being bullied, my heart rips itself apart.

Push them to the dirt till the words don’t hurt.
Can you hear me?

You’ve heard it before…  “Kids are cruel.”    “Boys will be boys.”

These are not excuses for us to continue to allow kids to be tormented to a point where they take their own lives; to be tormented at all.

“Football is a man’s sport! Get tough!”

And this. This is not an excuse for us – as adults – to perpetuate the problem.

No one’s gonna cry on the very day you die.
You’re a bully.

It would be redundant to sum up the current bullying scandal happening in the NFL because it is all over the internet. Pull your head out from the rock you live under and Google it. But I will say this:

I understand the locker room code everyone keeps preaching about. When I was at Notre Dame, the adventures of the locker room was something us women were never made privy to – none of it was allowed to leave the space and we weren’t allowed in.

Right now, there is a sign on the NDSU locker room that says, “What you see here, what you do here, what you hear here. Let it stay here when you leave here.”

I get it.

The locker room is a sacred space. It is a space for teams to bond, celebrate, and grieve away from the public eye and in their own way as a cohesive group. It is a space where the team can be exactly and only that – the team.

So when the team’s space violates a teammate’s ability to be a part of that cohesive group… when someone feels tormented in the team space by a member of their team… what does that say about “the team” and “the locker room”?

Regardless of the code, dehumanizing someone because they sought help for emotional distress doesn’t make them weak; it makes you foolish.

Proclaiming on national television that someone has ruined their career because they called someone out on bullying them does only one thing; perpetuates a culture of victim blaming.

All it takes is one child to hear about the football player who lost everything because he spoke up about being bullied. All it takes is for that one child to be hurt and ostracized by their own peers. All it takes is that child to suffer in silence because they fear the repercussions of speaking up.

All it takes? Is that child’s life.

Bullying is bullying. Regardless of age.

We don’t have to take this back against the wall.

We don’t have to take this. We can end it all.

You really want to man up? Take a stand against bullying.

Sour Milk February 28, 2013

Posted by jeneypeney in bloggers do it best, life.

“I have tried to do this blogging thing many times before… probably too many times to be proud of. I never fail to sort of putter out and the blog dies with all the honor and bravado of a raccoon attempting to cross the expressway.” – JeneyPeney, January 29th, 2009

Remember when I wrote that in my inaugural post? And included it in my About Me section?

Aaaaaand…. remember when I allowed this blog to do just what I hoped it never would?

Yea. About that.

If I am being honest here, I must say I truly miss blogging. I miss having a creative outlet to exercise my writing skills. Or lack thereof. Whatever.

I miss the all those wonderful connections I made with blogger friends around the world. I miss going about my everyday life and having those, “This is TOTALLY blog-able!” moments.

I miss it.

Although to be fair, I have had plenty of those “Ah-HA!” moments when something so incredible or giggle-worthy or just plain ridiculous happens and the wheels begin to turn. I start to compose the draft in my head and mentally note the quirky and humorous descriptions I could use.  Typically, though, these grand ideas end up on Tumblr or abbreviated in a Facebook status update. I have begun to cop-out and sell myself short in the social media world. I actually actively avoid pulling together a blog post and settle for the easy way out.

I hate that I do this.

I want to blog again. I want to write about my life’s shenanigans and my husband’s great one-liners. I want to tell you all about EVERYTHING! Just like I used to do on my little corner of the internet I liked to call my Fish Bowl.

But lately… I found I couldn’t do it.

You see,  two years ago I received some serious backlash from a former friend of mine in real life resulting from a post I wrote. The post was just a reflection on some current happenings – much like 99% of my posts. And I wasn’t picking on anyone in particular nor was I trying to start any kind of fight – much like 99% of my posts. The content hit a nerve with this individual, though. And rather than confronting me about it in a mature manner and asking what I meant exactly, they completely flew off the handle, sent me a very passive-aggressive text message, and decided I was personally attacking them in my blog.

This exact moment began the downturn of our relationship as well as the start of my reluctance to blog anymore. That whole scenario left me with this terrible, awful bad taste in my mouth. Much like inadvertently chugging down sour milk without hesitating at the weird smell when you opened the carton.

And now, every time I open up WordPress to blog again, I panic about what I am writing, who is reading it, and how they will perceive the words on their screen. Basically, I take one look at the milk jug, gag, and shut the fridge.

(Not to mention a slew of people at work discovered my blog and I acquired in-laws and this blog isn’t quite as anonymous as it used to be.)

I’ll bet you are beginning to wonder what the point of this post is? Well, I had been thinking about scrapping this blog entirely and starting over. Gutting the whole thing. Completely starting fresh and forgetting this blog ever happened.

Then I read this post by Renee and I realized that was a bit of an overreaction. It’s not like I’m the first blogger in the universe to have a bridge burned because of a post they probably shouldn’t have published. It’s not like I will be the last. After all, the internet is a public domain and you are putting yourself at risk for issues like mine to arise when you display yourself for all to see.

So instead, I have decided to re-vamp my Fish Bowl. I cleaned out the gravel, replaced the filter, and put in fresh water. 

I may not blog as often as I used to. My content may not be as ridiculous as it used to be. But I am reclaiming my ground here. This is MY blog and it is MY corner of the interwebs. No more being scared of sour milk and backlash.

It's time to re-introduce myself.

It’s time to re-introduce myself.

“Hello, everyone! My name is Jeney. That’s pronounced more like “Jenny” as in Forrest Gump and less like “Genie” as in Aladdin. Heritage wise, it’s supposed to be pronounced like “Ya-nay” due to being 25% Slovak. However, you can just call me Jen. But please don’t call me Jennifer. (Speaking of… if any of you know Jennifer Lawrence personally, hook a sister up!)

It is very nice to meet you. I hope you enjoy my blog!”