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Legen… wait for it…. DARY! March 28, 2011

Posted by jeneypeney in bloggers do it best, i'm a moron, shenanigans, tumblr, twitter.
1 comment so far

I know I haven’t been around here much lately unless I’m ranting and raving about the poor execution of sexual abuse investigations or women’s and worker’s rights

But I have been tweeting and tumbling up a storm of awesomeness!

So until I get out of this funk stop pissing and moaning go check me out there.

And although it has nothing to do with Barney Stinson, I will leave you with this. Because let’s face it, who doesn’t love the word Bazinga?

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Nothing runs like a Deere. February 25, 2011

Posted by jeneypeney in insanity, shenanigans, the midwest, what the hell.
2 comments

Before I jump in to this story I have to explain the area of I live in.

You see, most of North Dakota is wide, open fields of the farming variety. No trees. No shrubbery. Just soy beans, wheat, corn, canola*, and occasionally sunflowers**.

The area I live in (Fargo) is one of the few urban meccas*** of the great state of NoDak.

I live in an apartment complex consisting of five very large buildings all in a row. Surrounding me is a plethora of cookie-cutter housing, more very large apartment complexes consisting of several buildings, and various condominiums. There are also several churches, grocery stores, and other businesses.

In short – there are no forests, rolling hills, or open fields anywhere near me.

Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky-tacky...

Last summer, the Actual and I stopped at the gas station at the end of my complex to fill up his motorcycle and grab some snacks for one of the various biker runs we were headed to****. While waiting for the small tank to fill, we suddenly heard a strange ‘click clacking’ noise from a distance.

My initial thought was a dog had gotten loose and was sprinting for sweet freedom across the pavement.

Then the I realized the ‘click clack’ was more so of a ‘CLICKCLACKCLICKCLACKCLICKCLACK!!!!!‘ kind of noise – much too loud, fast, and urgent for a dog on jailbreak.

Picking my head up to get a glimpse of the culprit I saw…

A deer.

That’s right!  Fucking Bambi was gallivanting through the gas station, across a very busy street, and into the horizon of urban housing.

Where did she come from? I have absolutely no clue.

Where was she going? Apparently to the Lutheran Church across the street from me.

Once my brain had a chance to absorb the fact that a wild forest animal actually just high-tailed through a very busy, not-foresty area I turned to The Actual and asked, “Was that a deer?”

To which he replied oh so matter of fact, “Yep,” like that shit happens every day.

I suppose I can check this off my Bizzaro Things I Need To Witness Before I Kick It list.

*I had no idea what a canola field even looked like until I got a flat tire in Bumfuck, Canada next to one.

** These fields are GORGEOUS before they wilt…

*** At least it is by desolate nothingness standards.

**** Yep, I’m a biker chick. We’re getting me chaps and a jacket this summer… I will post pictures I promise.

Letters to Life; The Snow Sucks and Grad School is Hard Edition January 12, 2011

Posted by jeneypeney in grad school, letters, life, save yo drama fo yo mama, shenanigans, the midwest, weddng madness, winter = hellacious bitch.
7 comments

Dear Winter,

I would greatly appreciate it if you would cut the whole “super-shitty-weather” on Friday/ “clear-skies-and-smooth-sailing” on Sunday shenanigans. It makes weekends with The Actual kind of stressful.

Bite Me,

I Don’t Have 4-Wheel Drive

***

Dear Boss,

When I asked you during my interview if I needed to trade my Focus in for a larger car to deal with the heartless bitch that is North Dakota winter driving, I would have appreciated an honest answer.

Yours,

I Still Don’t Have 4-Wheel Drive

***

Dear Fargo Drivers,

Snow and ice on the road does not give you permission to ignore right of way,  the line you’re supposed to stop at for traffic lights, lane lines, speed limits, or any of the other state mandated rules of the road.

Not So Sincerely,

My Blood Pressure Is Through The Roof

***

Dear Snow,

Cut. It. Out. No one likes you anyway.

Eff Off,

My Ass Is Freezing

***

Dear Stats Class,

So far, so good. Let’s keep it that way.

KaiThnx,

Don’t Screw With My 4.0

***

Dear Wedding,

Could you be a doll and just plan yourself? I could care less about centerpieces and bridesmaid dresses. As long as The Actual shows up and the bar is open, I’ll be happy.

Sincerely,

Pirate Vegas Wedding Is Looking Pretty Tempting