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Why working in athletics sucks sometimes… June 15, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in femme writes, girl problems, i wish i was still in college, i'm a moron, life, piss and moan, post grad dilemma, sports, the 'f' word, women's writes, workin girl.

I had originally wanted to write this for Femme Writes, but I am obviously a whole ten days behind the deadline. However, something happened this past week that I have to address.

I’m a sports nut.

I have a box with a football, softballs, glove, volleyball, basketball, soccer ball, hand pump, and softball bat in my trunk – just in case.

I refuse to make plans on Sundays during football season because, duh! The game is on!

The Actual actually has issues watching sporting events with me because I get so worked up (“What the hell was that?! My dog could have caught that goddamn football!” “Who in their right mind would swing at that shit?! Worthless!”).

I also happen to be lucky enough to work in the same area I am so passionate about – athletics. And although the role of women in athletics (especially collegiate athletics) has continually increased over the past several decades, my particular field (equipment) is severely lacking in the double X chromosome department.

I was in Tennessee last week for a conference where I was one of maybe about a couple dozen women in a sea of over 500 athletic equipment managers. That, doubled with fact that I was a new, young face in the crowd, meant I kind of, sort of  stuck out. (Best pick up line of the week? “We may be in Tennessee, but you’re the only ten-I-see!”)

Being a woman in the athletic work field, I have become used to the off-hand comments and subtle belittling that comes with it; it all just makes me work harder.

But this week, I was shaken so bad at one of my seminars that I almost spent the rest of the day in my hotel room.

You see, I was in a seminar called ‘Helpful Hints’, which consisted of us equipment managers sharing our own hints and shortcuts for the group. I decided to get up and share my ‘hint’ about donating the hotel toiletries athletes leave in their travel bags to battered women’s shelters or homeless shelters in town. I ended my hint by saying, “If you have a SAAC, you should get them involved as well.”

Of course, considering the room was full of 99% men, they heard me say, “If you guys have a sack, get them involved!”

For the remainder of the conference, I was known as the girl who talked about sacks in the Helpful Hints meeting. I was absolutely mortified. Not because I unintentionally mentioned a man’s private parts (Lord knows I do that intentionally on a normal basis), but because no one would drop the damn subject for the rest of the week.I had lost credibility because of my verbal slip.

I can’t help but wonder if the same thing would have happened if I had been a man and actually had a sack of my own?

I am just as intelligent, talented, and damn good at my job as any of those men in my association. I can talk sports and understand the metaphors just as well as the next ass hat out there. Just because I have a vagina does not mean they have the right to ridicule me because I stated something with a double meaning.

You can all take your sacks and kiss my skirted ass.


My 100th Post January 13, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in being appropriate is overrated, i wish i was still in college, i'm a moron, love bites, music, piss and moan, post grad dilemma, save yo drama fo yo mama, sexy time, shenanigans, the famn damily.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Fish Bowl’s 100th post. Albeit, not quite as mind blowing or monumental as PB & Tuna or MJenks’ 100th Follower… but still more exciting than Sarah Palin joining Fox News or Mark McGuire admitting to steroid use.

Yay! Go me!

Considering I am completely narcissistic unoriginal and unimaginative, I am commemorating this post with 100 wholly pointless things about me.

If you thought you knew Jeney before, you are in for it.


1) My name has never been, is not, nor will it ever be Jennifer.

2) My favorite color is pink despite my personality and my hatred of it as a child.

3) My brother threw a flag stone at my head once when I was six knocking me out for fifteen minutes. I retaliated by crushing his hand with one a week later.

4) I have a birthmark on the bottom of my left foot. My dad has the same one.

5) My mom originally wanted to name me Nadina – Dina for short. (Dina the Dinosaur jokes, anyone?)

6) I cannot stand it when people chew with their mouths open. The smacking noise drives me bonkers.

7) I have had a sick obsession with vampires ever since I saw The Lost Boys as a kid. Twilight fans have nothing on me!

8) My only true fears in life are weed whackers, chain saws, and clowns.

9) I have been told that I have excellent taste in music when I am sober and awful taste in music when I am drunk.

10) I was technically a preemie- I was born four weeks early, but I was perfectly healthy and at a normal weight.

11) My parents were married in May of 1985, I was born in October on 1985. I was technically at the wedding.

12) I run to really loud, angry music – like Mudvayne and Five Finger Death Punch. However, I lift and elipticise (is that even a word?) to stuff like Lady Gaga and old school N’Sync.

13) I crochet and I love it.

14) I was born blonde and strived to stay that way until my senior year of college. I’ve discovered being brunette is way better.

15) I am the only person in my immediate family whose name does not start with an “L”.

16) This happens to be my favorite number.

17) I am closer to my 18 year old brother than I am with anyone else in this world.

18) I have had to do the math to remember how old I am turning every birthday since turning 21. I’m in denial already.

19) I have always wanted to have twin boys and name them Kristian Dakota and Kristopher Zachary. So they would be Kris and Kris (and hate me for it) but we would call them Dak and Zac.

20) Pickle Chiffon Pie is by far my favorite book EVER.

21) I have to admit that Peyton Manning commercials are my guilty pleasure.

22) So is really awful 90s pop music.

23) I once watched “My Super Sweet 16” for five hours straight. To this day I still have no idea why.

24) I used to get in my mom’s shopping cart and pull things off the shelves just to annoy her – when I was in high school.

25) My first word was “Floyd”… as in “Pink Floyd”.

26) My father once beat a guy to within an inch of his life for molesting me when I was 13 years old. I secretly wish he would have succeeded.

27) The only major surgery I have ever had was for a hernia.

28) You really shouldn’t take life too seriously because you’re not getting out of it alive.

29) The most profound thing any of my undergrad professors ever said to me was, “You are not an adult until you buy your own toilet paper.”

30) If you made it this far down my list, add the word ‘duck’ to your comment.

31) I am not a super religious person, but I do believe in God and I do believe He does everything for a reason.

32) I used to think my mom was Rosanne when I was a kid.

33) I love Christmas music, but I refuse to listen to it until Thanksgiving Day.

34) All of my iPod playlists have ridiculous names like “Sorry for Partying” and “I Giada de Laurentis on the Food Network without staring at her boobs.

43) The most attentive, loving, and caring man I have ever met in my life is currently two years old.

44) The first thing I do when I come home from work, errands, a friends place, etc. is take my pants off.

45) I used to write a lot of poetry when I was in high school. I still have my book I used to write them in. You can find some of it here.

46) I have the WORST road rage ever.

47) I have an organizational OCD. Everything I own is in some sort of order (alphabetical, height, color, etc.)

48) The two coolest scars on my body are on my crotch (hernia surgery) and my calf (motorcycle incident).

49) I also have a small scar on my lower lip. I have no idea how it got there. Neither do my parents.

50) I never wore shoes when I was a kid. Now, I *love* them.

51) I’m awful at flirting. I also get incredibly awkward when boys give me compliments.

52) I still get Happy Meals at McDonald’s. (Sometimes I even go for the Mighty Kids’ Meals.)

53) My type is “the suit”. My secret type is “the bad boy”.

54) I don’t care what you say; Batman is the best comic superhero EVER!

55) My navel has been pierced since I was 16. I have wanted to take it out since I was 19… I just can’t find it in myself to do it.

56) My grandfather is, and always will be, my hero.

57) The best roommates a girl could ask for are two overgrown, seventeen year old boys stuck in 20 something year old bodies.

58) Ever since I was in high school, I have wanted to join the armed forces (preferably the Navy). My mom put the kibosh on it when I graduated HS and circumstances kept me away from it when I graduated college. I still think about it every day.

59) I don’t think I could ever go back to Vegas because of the first time I ever went there.

60) If you got this far down my list, add another ‘duck’ to your comment.

61) Currently, I have not had an orgasm caused by another person in five years. (TMI?) I don’t know if it’s a mental thing or a ‘Jeney-really-knows-how-to-pick-em’ problem.

62) I have serious issues with pubic hair. I mean like ‘vomit-in-my-mouth’ kind of problems.

63) I am a fiercely loyal friend. However, you have to earn it.

64) I actually have awful self-esteem issues. I hide it behind my sarcasm.

65) This may not seem true, but camping and sleeping in the wilderness is the best night’s sleep you will ever get.

66) I always kind of with I would have gone to culinary school.

67) I prefer beer over any type of liquor; but I have always wanted to be a wine connoisseur.

68) Strawberry/peach is the best fruit combination for anything.

69) Brinner is the greatest meal ever, hands down.

70) Deep down, I want to be a great blogger like LiLu or Ben; but I don’t have the time or talent to do so. I have become perfectly content being the little blogger I am. 🙂

71) Miley Cyrus makes me want to shove forks in my ears.

72) I have never traveled outside of the states; not even to Canada or Mexico.

73) I purge my Facebook friends of people I no longer deem worthy of my time on a quarterly basis.

74) I want to get wasted with the guy who dubbed this video.

75) I was college roommates with a pretty well-known and loved 20 Something Blogger. We haven’t spoken since graduation day. I kind of miss ‘em.

76) My dream job would be the General Manager of the Chicago Bears. I’ll settle for being an Athletic Director somewhere.

77) I was flamed so badly the first week I joined 20SB on my profile that I am still afraid to get involved in the group.

78) Coming home from vacation to a clean house is the most relaxing feeling in the world.

79) I absolutely love Lady Gaga and I have no idea if I should be ashamed of it or not.

80) When I was in the 7th grade, I heard some boys on the playground talk about how gross it was for a girl to have hair “down there”. I agreed with them so I started shaving that night.

81) I feel that am not done learning and I want to go back to school.

82) The two most amazing things about Fargo so far are 50 Cent Draft Wednesdays at Bucks and Two for One You Call Its at Big D’s.

83) I wish I would have listened to my parents when they told me not to grow up so fast.

84) As much as I bitched about it while I lived there, I really miss Indiana sometimes.

85) I’m beginning to think my new Blackberry is my new best friend.

86) I still make wishes on my eyelashes.

87) I used to have a very extensive collection of gel pens when I was in junior high. I and I mean extensive… neon, glitter, metallic. You name it and I had it.

88) On that same note, I am still obsessed with highlighters and sharpies.

89) Sometimes when I am in a children’s section (clothes, books, whatever) I get this overwhelming feeling of wanting to get married and have kids like NOW. Then I come back to my senses.

90) If you made it this far down my list add the word ‘goose’ to your comment.

91) I have always kind of wanted to be a writer, but I never felt I was good enough to make it a career.

92) The greatest gift I ever got was one half of a 14 carat gold “Best Friend” heart from my mother when I was in high school.

93) I have a very vivid memory of watching an animated movie as a kid where rats were being killed and there was blood everywhere. To this day, no one has a clue what movie I am talking about and that I imagined the whole thing.

94) I have both a dream catcher and a rosary hanging above my bed.

95) It really bugs me when I don’t recognize a person on Facebook because they got married and changed their name.

96) I have owned this poster since I was a freshman in college and I still think it is one of the most impressive band posters I have ever seen.

97) My first concert I ever went to was the Smashing Pumpkins Infinite Sadness Tour in Chicago for my 11th birthday.

98) I gave a professional quarterback a lap dance once… and I don’t remember doing it.

99) When I was in high school, I ate three Bosco Sticks dipped in cheese sauce and marinara, a bag of Doritos, a chocolate shake, and three chocolate chip cookies for lunch EVERY DAY and still only weighed 110 lbs. I want that metabolism back.

100) I felt like this fact should have been earth shattering, but it is really hard to think up 100 facts about yourself.

Thanks for stickin’ around! Let the judging commence…

Tattoos-Day : A New Chapter November 24, 2009

Posted by jeneypeney in bad-ass-ness, life, post grad dilemma, shenanigans, tattoos-day, the midwest, workin girl.

Ink #11: Good Fortune

Design: Dragon Fly

Location: Right Inside Ankle

When: Summer 2009

Pain Scale: Eight out of ten

Artist: Joey Drada


Sad day… this is the last Tattoos-day 😦 However! If you, or anyone you know, is interested in featuring their own ink for a Tattoos-day, shoot me an e-mail at jeney dot anderson at gmail dot com.

I got this one right before I left for Fargo. I wanted to say goodbye to Joey and Mr. Max – and I wanted to get something to represent the newest chapter in my life. Moving to Fargo was one of the biggest transformations of my life. I moved away from family, friends, and everything I knew. As much as it scared the piss out of me, I knew it would be for the best.

There’s a story about Dragonflies that goes something like this:

In a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever. Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying. So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed. Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended. But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!

Moving to Fargo was my lily pad. And although I may not be able to go back to my old life, I know it is all for the better.