GTL (Fo real, yo.) February 1, 2012Posted by jeneypeney in Uncategorized.
As roughly 99.9% of the US population does every December 31st around 11:45pm – the Actual and I pledged to be healthier and lose weight. Our goal was to look and feel awesome by the completely arbitrary and not-important-at-all date of June 23rd.*
I am happy to report we’ve done a pretty good job of it so far. Of course, we’ve fought some pretty fierce battles along the way…
Grilled Salmon, Salad, and Steamed Veggies versus the 20 oz. Prime Rib, Loaded Baked Potato, and Baked Beans was a particularly gnarly one to fight. I have to say after a long stare down and some pretty vulgar trash talk, fish and rabbit food won out.
The Couch and 42″ Flat Screen have been pretty persistent in conjunction with XBOX 360 and Direct TV as they all fight against the treadmills, bikes, and weights at the Gym. I will admit having Little Shit living with us now is a good deterrent for giving in to former of the contestants.
While my body will occasionally plead with me to stop and has an arsenal of white flags ready to go at any moment, my mind is not backing off. One huge reason for this has certainly been the addition of an absurdly difficult, insane, and possibly harmful obstacle race** to my wedding celebration festivities. I mean, if I don’t want to die before I walk down the aisle, I really need to get my ass in gear. (By the way, have you donated to the cause yet??)
However… there are a few things I would like to inquire about some of the things I see when I work out at my gym. While we do not have any guidos or guidettes who frequent our place of exercise delight, I have witnessed many a folk who make me feel like posting this next to their machines:
Women who work out with their hair down. And I’m not talking cute little hair styles that are impossible to actually put in a pony tail. I’m talking legitimate long hair that comes down to at least their shoulders. My hair is always secured in a braid, pony tail, or bun at all times when I work out and I STILL want to chop it all off. How can these women stand to have all their locks just whipping around nilly-willy like?
Men who wear beanie caps while lifting. Seriously guys, what the hell? Does it really serve a purpose? You’re not even wearing it correctly – it seems to be more propped on your skull like some kind of ill- fitting condom. Don’t tell me it’s a fashion thing because I will take that 60 pound weight you’ve been struggling to lift for the past 30 minutes and throw it at your face***
Rat Tails. Are these coming back in style? Did I miss something? What the hell is going on?
The locker room always smells like bubble gum. I am not complaining, it’s obviously better than anything else the locker room could smell like… but it’s just perplexes me. Why bubble gum? Why not mountain fresh or baby powder? Does the men’s locker room also smell like children’s candies? Do they get a tootsie roll scent? I want to know!!
I honestly hope someone can shed some light on these things… otherwise they will continue to plague my thoughts and I might end up ass over elbows on a treadmill because I forgot how to put one foot in front of the other because a horde of beanie cap donning guys walk up to the free weights and overload my brain.
Ok, that was a lie… It was a bunch of women on treadmills with their hair down.
Happy Hump Day everyone!!
* If you have to ask, you don’t deserve to know.
** Actual statement regarding the race made by my MOH’s mother: “As maid of honor you are supposed to watch out for her….not electrocute her!”
*** In reality, I will probably make The Actual throw the weight at you. I can’t lift it either.