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Emotionally Exhausted February 18, 2011

Posted by jeneypeney in all growed up, being appropriate is overrated, i'm just sayin', life, piss and moan, the 'f' word.

I have always been a passionate person. I consider it one of my greatest strengths as well as one of my worst weaknesses. I can be a fiercely loyal friend, but sometimes it’s to an extent where I let your problems infect my own life. I will fight for what I believe in, but sometimes it’s to a point that I’m just beating a dead horse.

I am passionate and I am not sorry.

I am trying to pull this post together without going off on wild tangents or becoming so incoherent that I fail to get my point across – because this is important to me. I think I may have failed but bear with me…

For those of you who are friends with me on facebook, you may have noticed that I am have become one of those overly irritating “This is my cause! Read it!” kind of people. I just realized I had become this person late this week and for that, I am sorry.

But some of these bills that are being presented, supported, and pushed through all levels of government are honestly so terrifying and infuriating I cannot just sit back and let things happen. I need to stand up for what I believe in. I need to to use my little soap box to try and put a stop to the madness before life as know it falls apart. I need to let my passion come out.

First I heard about the GOP attempting to re-define the definition of rape to cut off federal aid of abortions to rape victims. Before you get up in arms about the abortion part, know this – regardless of whether you are pro-life or pro-choice, redefining what rape is and even considering that some forms of rape are not forcible is beyond repulsive. As a survivor of sexual abuse(s), this one cut me real deep.  [NOTE: I understand that the “forcible” wording was removed from the bill, but the fact that it was there to begin with is still terrible.]

Then I found out that the place I go to get all my lady-health care is on the cusp of being denied federal funding. Why do I go to Planned Parenthood rather than a gynecologist at my doctor’s office? Why do I care that funding for them is being cut? Because Planned Parenthood allows me to AFFORD my lady-health care. Simple as that. I don’t go there because I’m some kind of loose, baby killing left-wing radical. No.I go to Planned Parenthood because I have been able to get my yearly pap-smears, birth control prescriptions, and other services without have to forgo eating that month.

Third, I find out the new governor of Wisconsin is in the process of breaking down worker’s unions all in the name of fixing the budget (with the exception of police and firefighters clever bastard, eh?). Considering my father is a member of a worker’s union in Wisconsin (not by choice either – the company he worked at for over two decades was shut down and his position was moved to the new company which already had this system in place), is the sole bread-winner of my family, and struggles to support my mother and two brothers as it is? This bill Walker is trying to pass scares the hell out of me.

It doesn’t help that people in my facebook news feed who don’t even LIVE in Wisconsin and work at ‘white collar’ jobs are supporting what Walker is doing. To them I have one thing to say… Step out of your ivory towers and shut. the. fuck. up. Go outside of the little box of your own life and think about how these bills affects families like mine.

I feel as if my country is fighting tooth and nail against me because I am a woman and I am middle class. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have been failed by the system.

Between my spring sports travel schedules starting up, taking two extremely demanding grad classes this semester, trying to pay deposits for the wedding, waiting to hear back from The Actual’s new job about his passing the background check and finger prints, discovering that my alma mater and her brother institution has once again disappointed me to the verge of tears, and dealing with life in general? I’m tuckered out, folks.

I apologize if I offended anyone with this post or my incessant facebook updates – but I am not sorry for being passionate and standing up for my rights. Because if I don’t, who will?



1. cari - February 18, 2011

i hear you on the emotionally exhausted, but for different reasons. i wish i was coherent enough to write about it, but i’m just tired. tired and crabby and annoyed and cold and ready to go home and sleep for a week.

2. Erin Scott - February 18, 2011

You’re not alone. I too am emotionally wrung out these days. And it sucks. But we have to keep trucking in some form, and social media provides that easy outlet for us: I don’t have to make a phone call; I just copy and paste and throw my opinion up while I’m at it.

The way I see it, social media is the future. Look at Egypt this year, look at Iran last summer (which failed, but was the same idea). The benefits outweigh just about any objection I can think of.

And honestly, if “friends” don’t like the fact that you have opinions and aren’t afraid to stand up and shout about them, then they really aren’t that good of friends. True friends don’t have to agree on everything – they do need to respect each other.

3. Legen… wait for it…. DARY! « Just a Lost Soul Swimmin' in a Fish Bowl - March 28, 2011

[…] I know I haven’t been around here much lately unless I’m ranting and raving about the poor execution of sexual abuse investigations or women’s and worker’s rights… […]

4. A Glass Case of Emotion | Just a Lost Soul Swimmin' in a Fish Bowl - April 5, 2013

[…] some time ago I wrote about being emotionally drained due to issues very similar to those in this post. I do sincerely wish sometimes that I was ignorant […]

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