Ch…Ch…Ch…Ch…Changes. January 25, 2011
Posted by jeneypeney in all growed up, grad school, i wish i was still in college, life, piss and moan.trackback
I know I haven’t been around the blogosphere much at all lately. I have lost twitter followers, blog readers, and everything in between and I wish I had an awesome excuse for you as to why.
What I do have for you, though, is an obligatory and typical “I’ve changed” blog post that proceeds a very long, lackluster period of blogging in which the blogger tries to explain said long, lackluster period of blogging while trying to be entertaining and usually failing.
During the 365 days that were 2010 and the past 25 days that have been 2011, I’ve made a lot of big life decisions.
First of all, I decided to start grad school… while working full-time. I figured I could handle it since I worked part-time while I was a full-time undergrad. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a poor judgment call. In reality, doing anything while you work full-time in athletics is effin’ HARD. (I am proud to gloat say that I am currently a 4.0 grad student so far!)
Then, I decided to toss in planning and paying for a wedding on top of all that.
I am afraid to say that all of this has caused me to…
::insert foreboding DUH DUH DUNNNNN noise here::
… grow up.
I know, crazy right?
Honestly though, I’ve completely lost interest in all the things my friends (who are younger, still in school full-time, single, etc.) are interested in.
I no longer have any interest in going to a party in which I will not know anyone. If there is potential for the party to become any sort of “rager”, I’m staying home.
On that note, I really have no interest in going out at all anymore. I’d rather sit around with my friends, have a few beers, and play cards. (And no, I don’t mean card games like Eff the Dealer or Circle of Death.)
If I do have the urge to go out, I really only want to go to the bars if it is on a “dead” night or if there are tables I can sit down at and have a conversation at. No people, no loud obnoxious music, and no seizure inducing strobe lights, please.
Lastly, I catch myself not wanting to hang out with my single friends as much because I feel like I’m an “outsider” now. Which blows my mind because I never felt like that when I was the single friend… but now I feel like I have nothing to talk about with them anymore.
And I feel this way with the blogosphere, too. Which is why I barely blog anymore.
I feel like I’m in this sort of blogging purgatory where I’m not quite one of those awesome “married bloggers” yet where I write about how insane my life is being attached to someone else nor am I one of those “cool, funny” bloggers anymore who just write about how insane their life is.
My life isn’t a funny sort of insane like it used to be – it’s just insane. And no one wants to read about that.
Do you?
I'm still trying to figure out this whole "growing up" thing everyone keeps talking about.
Just a Lost Soul Swimmin' in a Fish Bowl 
Here is a tale I recall when it comes to GROWIN UP:
An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life. “A fierce fight is going on inside me.” The chief said to the boy. “It is between two wolves. “One wolf is evil. He is guilt, anger, envy, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt and ego.” “The second wolf is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” “It is a terrible fight and the same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person, too.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win the fight?” The old chief replied simply, “The one I feed.”
I’m still here! I think you could make any story, no matter how mundane you think it is, funny and entertaining. I plan on sticking around.
I know how you feel about all those “grown up” things. Sure, I like a crazy night out every once in awhile, but I would much rather sit in a cozy pub with friends where I can actually have a conversation, or have people over to our place for dinner and wine. It’s just more comfortable and makes more sense to me now.
I know this feeling and it never goes away. Some call it “growing up”. I prefer to call it assuming responsibility for the choices we make.
I totally hear you. I’m still one of those single friends, but I know exactly what you mean. Hit the nail on the head with all of the above. Let’s go to a bar on a dead night and catch up. Miss your face.
I do! You don’t have to have an intense life to be interesting and connect with people. I don’t blog because I’m single and fabulous – I blog while happening to be single (and I’m always fabulous). I honestly don’t happen to think that I’m that funny or witty or even that I have awesome things to say, but I still have a readership. Don’t blog for me. Blog for you. I’m happy to take what you give me, and accept you and your life for what it is.
Right there with you. Don’t worry. You’re not old…yet. 🙂
can i just say amen and leave it at that?
well… i’m going to anyway.
Hey, would it help you out if I said that when you blog it is great but when you don’t – I assume you are busy or feel like nothing particularly entertaining is going on in your life…so really no explanation was needed? I already love the grown up you!