Gettin’ down on all four… wheels? April 19, 2010Posted by jeneypeney in a little help from my friends, bad-ass-ness, i'm a moron, return to athleticism, shenanigans, sports.
Do you remember when you were an awkward, prepubescent wee tike and you really, really wanted to join the team?
Remember when you wanted nothing more than to put on that uniform, bump chests, and scream incoherent babble in the huddle with the rest of the hooligans on the roster?
You dreamed and hoped and wished to be accepted, adored, and possibly laid later?
Well, I’ve got that feeling.
And this feeling has quite possibly caused me to lose any semblance of rationality or common sense because…
(are you ready for this?)
I am trying out for the roller derby team.
You heard that right… I am strapping on my skates (Yes. I own a pair of skates. Shut yo face.), pulling up my big girl fishnets, and caking on the eyeliner in my attempts to become an FM Derby Girl.
I am aware of the broken limbs, blood loss, and possible brain hemorrhages I am at risk for. And I am okay with that.
BUT! I do have one teensy, tiny little problem – I need a name.
I’m absolutely pathetic at coming up with actual badass names.
So far I have Shamrock Your Socks, Cindewrecka, and Jenny McKarnage.
See? I obviously need help.
Hit me with your best shot, bitches.
(But be gentle… I need to save as many pounds of flesh as possible before the try out.)