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Women’s Writes; Use Your Voice April 5, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in a little help from my friends, girl problems, life, the 'f' word, women's writes.

When the Criminal Homicide and Abortion Amendments bill passed in Utah at the beginning of March, both Shine and Marie reached the end of our rope when it came to women’s rights and issues consistently being pushed backwards rather than moving forwards. They decided to have a day in which any blogger could write about women’s rights and issues and bring them to the forefront so that we could speak up and make all of our voices heard.

Here is my story. Know it. Write it. Say it.


I recently discovered this blog called Violence Unsilenced. (For those of you, who are not aware of what it is or its mission, please go check it out.)

As I was reading the heart wrenching and unthinkable stories of all the amazing and brave women that came forward to speak out about abuse, rape, harassment, and everything else that makes you go ‘buggh’, I came to a sad and stark realization; I was one of the silent ones.

You see, I was once a victim of sexual abuse. I am thankful I at least told my parents about it and although no legal action was ever pursued, I am glad I told detectives and police my story as well. But I haven’t said a word about it since.

I have mentioned it to close friends when the issue comes up and there is a little blurb about it in my 100 Facts. But for over a decade I have consistently brushed my pain and all the deep seeded problems the abuse caused me under the rug. I’ve been pretending it never happened and that I am fine.

But I’m not fine. I’m damaged and I’m hurt.

I am not alone, either.

While hundreds of women have shared their stories on Violence Unsilenced, there are hundreds of others who haven’t said a word. Hundreds of women who think ‘no one will believe them anyway’ or it was ‘their fault’; and that is the most heart wrenching fact of all.

Ladies (and gentlemen) – we all have a voice. Some are sopranos. Others are more of a baritone. Some of us use them to make catty comments about the girl across the way with the tacky tank top while others use them to express our profound and earth-shattering opinions of Tiger and Jesse.

Now we need to use them to speak out against abuse and rape and harassment and all those things that make us go ‘buggh’.

Whether it be abuse you have suffered yourself or the story of someone you care about, this not something we can ignore.

We are not all okay and we won’t just ‘get over it’.

Tell your story. Use your voice. It’s the most powerful weapon you’ve got.



1. Women’s Writes – We all know that no means no… « shine out loud - April 5, 2010

[…] Peney’s Use Your Voice This entry was posted by shine on 04/05/2010 at 8:00 am, and is filled under Uncategorized, […]

2. shine - April 5, 2010

I’m so glad you posted this. And I’m SO GLAD you posted about the Violence Unsilenced website. I think what they’re doing is really important.

And you know, if you ever need someone to talk to about what happened, I’m only an email away.

3. Just A Girl - April 5, 2010

Hi, I love you. Did you ever submit your story to them? I hope so.

4. Alice - April 5, 2010

i saw a show the other day that said 98% of all sexual assaults and rapes on college campuses go unreported, because it’s usually done by someone the victim knows, so they either don’t think it’s “really” rape, or they don’t want to get the person in trouble when it’s “not that bad.” on the one hand, i understand just wanting to move past it and not continue to relive it (to the campus cops, the regular cops, the prosecutors, the entire courtroom, omg) but the more women stay silent, the more men think it’s ok.

5. carissa - April 5, 2010

Amen. I haven’t seen this site, but I got turned on to “she writes love on her arms” not too long ago. I think it’s so important for people to feel that they can share these things. SO IMPORTANT. Thanks for the site info!

6. Women’s Writes-Pushing Back « Marie's Blog Cafe - April 5, 2010

[…] (What I Believe), Zoe (Women’s Writes), Travis (My Y Chromosome Contribution), Jeney Peney (Use Your Voice), Graygrrrl (When the Past Meets the Present), Sketch (Sketch’s Sex Talks: A History), Phronk […]

7. Marie - April 5, 2010

You said it, all we need is to speak up because we ALL have a voice.

Thank you so much for sharing your story.

8. clairemontgomerymd - April 6, 2010

amen! (still looking for the courage to tell my story though)

9. maggie, dammit - April 7, 2010

Thank you SO much for bringing attention to Violence UnSilenced. I welcome your story when you’re ready to share it.

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through.

Thank you.

10. cari - April 9, 2010

well i don’t know what that’s like myself, i do have someone close to me who does. and i know what it did to them and what it still does to them. i know that it still hurts them, that they’re still shamed by it. and i wish i knew the right words to help take that all away.

time DOESN’T heal any wounds. it can only fade them until you barely remember they’re there, but they are not healed. it takes talking about things and processing through in order to heal ANY mental or psychological wound.

i’m very sorry. my heart goes out to you. i can see that you’re a strong woman and i’m so glad that you spoke up when you did. and someday, you’ll be able to speak up again and finally let it all go and live with the freedom you deserve. 🙂

11. Kandace - April 18, 2010

I pushed it aside for Years. I did tell my mom, but wouldn’t tell officers. I wouldn’t talk about it. Then one day I did. I opened up and just let go. I don’t go around telling everyone I know, but if it’s relevant I’ll talk about it. If I think someone needs to hear it, I’ll tell my story. I’m not hurt and damaged anymore, but instead I am stronger and will Never Allow anyone to treat me badly. I don’t care Who you are. After facing Myself (since that’s what it was really after all that time) I can now stand tall and know that I can help someone. I lived through that, there’s nothing anyone can say or do that will belittle me or make me smaller than I am.

Being able to talk about it can help someone who is hurting who is or has been in the same position. But it can also help you. I agree, we All need to be a stronger voice.

12. First Installment of Femme Writes – April 5, 2010 « Femme Writes - May 11, 2010

[…] Jeney Peney’s Use Your Voice […]

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