I am happy to report we’ve done a pretty good job of it so far. Of course, we’ve fought some pretty fierce battles along the way…

Grilled Salmon, Salad, and Steamed Veggies versus the 20 oz. Prime Rib, Loaded Baked Potato, and Baked Beans was a particularly gnarly one to fight. I have to say after a long stare down and some pretty vulgar trash talk, fish and rabbit food won out.

The Couch and 42″ Flat Screen have been pretty persistent in conjunction with XBOX 360 and Direct TV as they all fight against the treadmills, bikes, and weights at the Gym. I will admit having Little Shit living with us now is a good deterrent for giving in to former of the contestants.

While my body will occasionally plead with me to stop and has an arsenal of white flags ready to go at any moment, my mind is not backing off. One huge reason for this has certainly been the addition of an absurdly difficult, insane, and possibly harmful obstacle race** to my wedding celebration festivities. I mean, if I don’t want to die before I walk down the aisle, I really need to get my ass in gear. (By the way, have you donated to the cause yet??)

However… there are a few things I would like to inquire about some of the things I see when I work out at my gym. While we do not have any guidos or guidettes who frequent our place of exercise delight, I have witnessed many a folk who make me feel like posting this next to their machines:

For those of you who also work out at fitness centers or gyms, please let me know if these are nation-wide phemons or if Fargo is just really effin’ weird.

Women who work out with their hair down. And I’m not talking cute little hair styles that are impossible to actually put in a pony tail. I’m talking legitimate long hair that comes down to at least their shoulders. My hair is always secured in a braid, pony tail, or bun at all times when I work out and I STILL want to chop it all off. How can these women stand to have all their locks just whipping around nilly-willy like?

Men who wear beanie caps while lifting. Seriously guys, what the hell? Does it really serve a purpose? You’re not even wearing it correctly – it seems to be more propped on your skull like some kind of ill- fitting condom. Don’t tell me it’s a fashion thing because I will take that 60 pound weight you’ve been struggling to lift for the past 30 minutes and throw it at your face***

Rat Tails. Are these coming back in style? Did I miss something? What the hell is going on?

The locker room always smells like bubble gum. I am not complaining, it’s obviously better than anything else the locker room could smell like… but it’s just perplexes me. Why bubble gum? Why not mountain fresh or baby powder? Does the men’s locker room also smell like children’s candies? Do they get a tootsie roll scent? I want to know!!

I honestly hope someone can shed some light on these things… otherwise they will continue to plague my thoughts and I might end up ass over elbows on a treadmill because I forgot how to put one foot in front of the other because a horde of beanie cap donning guys walk up to the free weights and overload my brain.

Ok, that was a lie… It was a bunch of women on treadmills with their hair down.

Happy Hump Day everyone!!

* If you have to ask, you don’t deserve to know.

** Actual statement regarding the race made by my MOH’s mother: “As maid of honor you are supposed to watch out for her….not electrocute her!”

*** In reality, I will probably make The Actual throw the weight at you. I can’t lift it either.

Oh! There you are! I was worried no one stuck around this place considering I’ve left it dormant for eleventy billion days.

Wait, what? You’re not one of my readers? Huh? Prince who? From Nigeria?! I didn’t know I had any relatives from Nigeria…

Anynonsense – I know I’ve neglected the blogging and social media world for entirely too long and to be completely honest, I’m not sorry about it. (Truth hurts sometimes, yo.)

Of course you are all aware of my typical “school, work, and wedding planning” excuses… While those are all fine and dandy reasons for not over-sharing my life across the internets, they’re simply not enough to really excuse this kind of hiatus.

You see, this fall I was all ready and set to go with a big return to the blogging world – then my grandfather passed away in the early hours of August 31st. Needless to say, I was devastated.

I have tried several times to write some sort of memorial post to him to kick-start myself in to blogging again, but I still cannot coherently describe how special that man was is to me. So I’m not going to.

After my family dropped $1200 on place tickets to get from Fargo to Chicago, a very tearful and exhausting funeral, spreading ashes on our farm property, and settling back in to life, I decided I was going to participate in some sort of race before the wedding in his honor.

Thanks to my absolutely amazing Maid of Honor, I found that race.*

I would like you to please take a moment and watch this video…

This is 10 to 12 miles of running through fire, swimming through ice-cold water, scaling 12 foot walls, sprinting through electrically charged wires, and other such obstacles developed by the British Special Forces?

Why yes. As a matter of fact, I am certifiably insane.

This is, without a doubt, going to be the most physically challenging thing I have done to date. I’m sure it will out-do the team triathlon I did two summers ago by a gazillion, million points.

This is my second week of training for the challenge and I can already see a difference in myself. I have already increased weights, reps, and even my endurance.

But I still need help.

You see, Tough Mudder has joined forces with the Wounded Warrior Project and given all participants an additional challenge of raising $150 toward the charity.

(As my grandfather was a veteran of the US Army and a dedicated patriot of this country, this partnership and my participation couldn’t be any more appropriate.)

So here’s the deal… I’m going to punish my body to an extent that has never been breached before in the name of my grandfather and the man and women who serve this nation (fire, freezing water, and electricity people!)

Will you donate on behalf on me? Even just a dollar?

If your answer is yes, please go to this link. It will only take a moment of your time and I will be forever grateful!

In return, I promise I will revive this blog. I will regale you with stories of my baby brother moving in with me, adventures in learning how to properly lift with free-weights, and wedding madness!

In other words – I’m back, bitches.

* I told her if I break a limb and have to walk down the aisle, take pictures, and spend my wedding night in a cast, I’m making her wear a boot all night for shits and giggles.

Considering we are now officially 365 (+1 for the leap year!) days away, I figured I would start letting the blogosphere in on the planning

When:

June 23, 2012

Since I work in collegiate athletics and his family owns a farm, we had to work around the travel/practice schedules of my teams, home games, and planting/harvesting seasons. This left us with the dead of winter in January/February or the middle of summer in June. I never thought I would end up as  June bride… but then again I never really thought I was going to be a bride at all

Where:

Madison, WI

We decided to pick a place that is half-way between both families. The venue is absolutely perfect for us, too. It’ll be on a working farm; ceremony in the fields, dinner in the shop, and dancing in the barn. Pure, simple, and fun!

Who:

• Photographer

Christin Berry, owner of Blue Martini Photography

Seriously, Christin is one of the most amazing people I have ever known and the most amazing person I have had the pleasure to work with during the whole process. She’s an awesomely talented photographer and rocked the shit out of our engagement pictures. She’s also just been there for me when I needed to cry or vent about ANYTHING. If you need photos taken for any reason, give her a call! She’s beyond wonderful!

• Catering

JL Richards Catering

Pig Roast. ‘Nuff said. (Seriously though… BBQ and regular pulled pork, roasted chicken, and three sides for under $10 a person? Hell to the yes!)

• Disc Jockey/Officiant

Edge DJ Entertainment

The best thing about the DJ? He’s also our minister. We got a 20% discount for booking both the DJ service and the ceremony services! They also have a custom page for each wedding where guests can request music to be played at the reception – as long as it is not on our “do not play” list, it’ll be put on the playlist!

***

I will continue to post things as they come along… flowers, centerpeices, rings, and all things borrowed and blue