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TMI Thursday: #61 May 6, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in being appropriate is overrated, sexy time, TMI Thursdays.
10 comments

Although LiLu has retired, I have decided to let the legend live on… So prepare yourself for the disgusting, naughty, and downright wrongness that is TMI Thursday.

This week’s TMI is short and sweet, people.

Because while this is monumental, there is no need to be wordy.

It has happened.

#61? As of this week,  is no longer applicable.

Huzzah!!

TMI Thursday – Someone Shit on the Porch April 29, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in a little help from my friends, being appropriate is overrated, drinking stories, freakin' weekend, i wish i was still in college, love bites, poop, save yo drama fo yo mama, TMI Thursdays.
6 comments

Although LiLu has retired, I have decided to let the legend live on… So prepare yourself for the disgusting, naughty, and downright wrongness that is TMI Thursday.

I have two friends back home in Indiana – we’ll call them Hockey and Football.

Hockey and Football happen to be really good friends with a guy we’ll call Backer Boy.

Before I started chasing after girls in dark hued thongs, they told me about the time someone left shit on Backer Boy’s front porch. It wasn’t on fire… although it was definitely warm.

This is their story.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who dumped his girlfriend. Two years later, this ex girlfriend started bumping uglies with one of Backer Boy’s roommates.

Despite the fact that HE dumped HER over 730 days before, he was not very happy about this new hobby she picked up.

So one night after said ex girlfriend and said roommate left the bar – this boy decided to drink his sorrows away until the lights came on and last call was announced. Did he go home for the night to sleep off his Drunky McSloppiness?

Wouldn’t be TMI Thursday is he did!

This inordinately toasted, irrational man walked to Backer Boy’s house and proceeded to yell and curse and CLIMB the house in an attempt to see if his ex-girlfriend was in fact, sleeping with the roommate.

All while Backer Boy and the roommate were watching out their window.

After about an hour of Mr. Asshat pretty much acting as if someone canceled his World of Warcraft account, he decided he had enough.

So he walked up to their front door, dropped trow, and shit on their front step.

Yes, you heard me right.

He. shit. on. their. front. step.

And guess what? The ex-girlfriend wasn’t even there.

TMI Thursday – You think explaining a hickey is awkward? April 8, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in being appropriate is overrated, i'm a moron, love bites, sexy time, TMI Thursdays.
7 comments

Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

TMI Thursday

Sadly, this week will be the final TMI Thursday. LiLu is throwing in the towel after a long, glorious run and going out on top… because missionary is boring.

So Mom? Click this link.

///

When it comes to being ::ahem:: intimate… I’m a bit of a submissive person.

Considering I am such a strong and dominant person in every day life, having someone tell me what to do and pull my hair a bit turns me on. A lot.

Don’t judge me.

A couple years ago I was at home for the summer and headed out one weekend for a friend’s cook out.

While perusing the fried chicken and noodle salad, I happened across a very attractive cousin of hers.  Of course, we began to flirt shamelessly and played the eye sex game all day.

By the time the sun set and the libations emerged in full force, we had found the bedroom in the basement.

I don’t think you need me to spell it out for you, do I?

I do? Seriously?

Ugh. Alright.

I had the roughest, most wild night of my life. Honestly, it was the kind of sex that you see in the movies. Scratching, biting, hair pulling… wild.*

After I returned home on Sunday afternoon and was perusing the fridge for sustenance, my mother walked up behind me,  pulled over a strap from my tank top and asked,

“Is that a bite mark?”

Oh. Shit.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think the excuse “It’s a monkey bite.” would have actually worked.

* If you’ve read my 100 Facts, you know I didn’t fully enjoy my night. But it was still a helluva romp.

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