love bites « Just a Lost Soul Swimmin' in a Fish Bowl

Forgiving Myself November 24, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in 30 days of truth, girl problems, life, love bites, wishing and dreaming.
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30 Days of Truth: Day 3

Something You Have to Forgive Yourself For

Wow. This is going to be hard to publish.

I’ve known for a long, long time that I am my own worst enemy.

I am constantly setting the bar absurdly high for myself and I never fail to berate the failure inside me for not achieving those ridiculous goals I set. I am, simply, too hard on myself.

As most of you will remember, I went through a severely self-destructive point in my life where I made awful, terrible life choices that still haunt me to this very moment. While I know the reasons I even took these leaps into the dark and dangerous were not my fault – they were still my choices to make.

I have never – ever – forgiven myself for putting myself into those situations.

And now I have this wonderful, loving, and absolutely perfect man in my life who loves the shit out of me, and I can’t help but think I don’t deserve him; that he should have a woman in his life that is less damaged and used. I am plagued by the feeling that someday all of my transgressions will finally hit him (although he knows about them already), and he’ll realize I am no good for him… or anyone else.

Those feelings? Those stupid mistakes I made years ago? That is what I need to forgive myself for. I have to reach deep down inside and find it in my heart to know that it is all in my past and I cannot change it. Every stupid choice and every regret has shaped me into the woman who The Actual asked to marry him – that this woman is no longer broken and is worthy of love and affection and all that shmoopy bullshit that comes with it.

I have to forgive myself for those desperate mistakes I made. They may have been the worst ones – but they weren’t the only ones. And they certainly won’t be the last.

TMI Thursday – Someone Shit on the Porch April 29, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in a little help from my friends, being appropriate is overrated, drinking stories, freakin' weekend, i wish i was still in college, love bites, poop, save yo drama fo yo mama, TMI Thursdays.
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Although LiLu has retired, I have decided to let the legend live on… So prepare yourself for the disgusting, naughty, and downright wrongness that is TMI Thursday.

I have two friends back home in Indiana – we’ll call them Hockey and Football.

Hockey and Football happen to be really good friends with a guy we’ll call Backer Boy.

Before I started chasing after girls in dark hued thongs, they told me about the time someone left shit on Backer Boy’s front porch. It wasn’t on fire… although it was definitely warm.

This is their story.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who dumped his girlfriend. Two years later, this ex girlfriend started bumping uglies with one of Backer Boy’s roommates.

Despite the fact that HE dumped HER over 730 days before, he was not very happy about this new hobby she picked up.

So one night after said ex girlfriend and said roommate left the bar – this boy decided to drink his sorrows away until the lights came on and last call was announced. Did he go home for the night to sleep off his Drunky McSloppiness?

Wouldn’t be TMI Thursday is he did!

This inordinately toasted, irrational man walked to Backer Boy’s house and proceeded to yell and curse and CLIMB the house in an attempt to see if his ex-girlfriend was in fact, sleeping with the roommate.

All while Backer Boy and the roommate were watching out their window.

After about an hour of Mr. Asshat pretty much acting as if someone canceled his World of Warcraft account, he decided he had enough.

So he walked up to their front door, dropped trow, and shit on their front step.

Yes, you heard me right.

He. shit. on. their. front. step.

And guess what? The ex-girlfriend wasn’t even there.

Post It Note Tuesday: Get Pissed April 20, 2010

Posted by jeneypeney in girl problems, life, love bites, piss and moan, post it note tuesdays, save yo drama fo yo mama.
6 comments

Have you ever been so mad, angry, irritated, enraged, and frustrated that you wanted to punch yourself in the face so you can just feel something else for a few minutes?

No? I’m the only one? Fine. Be like that. Ass-wipes.

Anypissed,

I’m taking out my bad week (It’s only Tuesday? FACK!) on my blog via Post It Note Tuesday. Because I can.

Everyone keeps telling me to “enjoy it because it won’t be like that in the summer!” Why don’t you try handling WET clothes when it’s this cold in the building? Then you can talk to me about enjoying the cold…