Letters To Life : The “I-have-too-much-crap-going-on-right-now-to-write-anything-coherent” Edition March 28, 2012
Posted by jeneypeney in all growed up, grad school, in it to gym it, insanity, letters, life, weddng madness.1 comment so far
Dear Mom,
No, I am not going to freak out over the wedding stuff you keep bringing up. I WILL freak out over you continuously telling me not to freak out.
All my love,
Please take a chill pill, woman
***
Dear wedding,
As much as I am looking forward to you, I need the honeymoon more.
Yours,
Vegas was a better idea
***
Dear Thesis,
I underestimated you. You are infinitely more difficult to complete when I am working full time. And planning a wedding. I concede defeat.
Always,
I’m never getting my degree
***
Dear grad school,
Ho-lee shit, dude.
Sincerely,
I’m not in undergrad anymore, Toto.
***
Dear Calf Muscles,
Get your shit together and quit cramping up on me after a measly mile.
Regards,
There are not enough bananas and pickle juice in this world
***
Dear JeneyPeney,
Just get your shit together.
Seriously,
Blogging is not productive
Letters to Life; The Snow Sucks and Grad School is Hard Edition January 12, 2011
Posted by jeneypeney in grad school, letters, life, save yo drama fo yo mama, shenanigans, the midwest, weddng madness, winter = hellacious bitch.7 comments
Dear Winter,
I would greatly appreciate it if you would cut the whole “super-shitty-weather” on Friday/ “clear-skies-and-smooth-sailing” on Sunday shenanigans. It makes weekends with The Actual kind of stressful.
Bite Me,
I Don’t Have 4-Wheel Drive
***
Dear Boss,
When I asked you during my interview if I needed to trade my Focus in for a larger car to deal with the heartless bitch that is North Dakota winter driving, I would have appreciated an honest answer.
Yours,
I Still Don’t Have 4-Wheel Drive
***
Dear Fargo Drivers,
Snow and ice on the road does not give you permission to ignore right of way, the line you’re supposed to stop at for traffic lights, lane lines, speed limits, or any of the other state mandated rules of the road.
Not So Sincerely,
My Blood Pressure Is Through The Roof
***
Dear Snow,
Cut. It. Out. No one likes you anyway.
Eff Off,
My Ass Is Freezing
***
Dear Stats Class,
So far, so good. Let’s keep it that way.
KaiThnx,
Don’t Screw With My 4.0
***
Dear Wedding,
Could you be a doll and just plan yourself? I could care less about centerpieces and bridesmaid dresses. As long as The Actual shows up and the bar is open, I’ll be happy.
Sincerely,
Pirate Vegas Wedding Is Looking Pretty Tempting
An Ode to I29 Construction August 6, 2010
Posted by jeneypeney in being appropriate is overrated, empty threats, letters, piss and moan, save yo drama fo yo mama, the midwest, workin girl.3 comments
Dear North Dakota DOT,
I understand, what with the absurdly cold winters here in Fargo, ND, that you must repair our streets and highways during the two weeks of summer we actually have decent weather. I appreciate this – really, I do. So does my car.
What I do not appreciate is the fact that my entire 6 mile trip to work on the usual three lanes of I29 has been reduced to two lanes with yielding merges and a speed limit of 35 miles per hour.
Now, if you were in fact working on at least 60% of this valuable blocked lane, I would be a bit more sympathetic and forgiving of your blatant disregard for my commute and short temper. HOWEVER! Throughout this entire 6 miles you have blocked, you only have your orange vest wearing workers actually doing work in a 10 yard section right off of US10′s exit. And they’ve been drilling in the same god damn spot ALL WEEK!
In other words they’ve made NO PROGRESS in the 0.0009% of the highway they are working on. And my commute is still twice as long and I still have to count to ten before I get out of my car at work.
I don’t know what fuckstick you have working in your planning division, but they seriously need to be whacked with a baseball bat. I’m sure you have someone sitting around that could do it while they’re NOT working on I29.
So seriously, please open that third lane back up and convert the merging lanes back to normal. Drivers out here are seriously far too incompetent to know what a YIELD sign means or how to drive 35 mph without riding their brakes – it could be that they have no idea how to read the signs, but I digress.
If you can’t do so, then start tearing shit up on that side of the road so there’s a reason for those effing orange buckets and my newly developed ulcers.
Much obliged,
Jeney
I'm still trying to figure out this whole "growing up" thing everyone keeps talking about.
